Thursday, August 28, 2008

Matthew the Great aka Special K

When Matthew played football, the players gave each other nicknames. Some kind of male bonding rite of passage? Maybe a teenage attempt to escape the bondage of the name his parents bestowed upon him? Go figure. The story is: Matthew's friend Jordan (aka "Sunshine") came up with the nickname "Special K" in a burst of inspiration at football practice. Matthew tells me that it is "SpecialK" with no space in between but my age prevents me from deleting the space. Oh, and those that don't call him Special K call him Matt. Not Matthew--Matt. I'm told that only his mother calls him Matthew. WOO-HOO, I'm special! He says I'm little-yellow-bus-special but hey, I'll take it.

I know I have said it before but really, how hard is it to say Keliipuleole?

I found Matthew's nickname intriguing because when William played on Pop Warner, they nicknamed him "Kellogg." You know what that means don't you? With a "Special K" and a "Kellogg" I hope I don't have a...
get ready...
wait for it...
drum roll please,
"cereal" killer in the family...
Thank you, thank you. I'll be here all week. Don't forget to tip your waitress...

With his two older brothers out of the picture, my handsome Matthew is now the leader of the general population in our insane asylum. I remind him to use his power for good and not evil, but like many other alien teenagers out there, he can hear an incoming text on his cell phone from two rooms away but can't hear a word I say when I stand right next to him. I tell him important things too like, take out the trash, empty the dishwasher, mow the lawn...Strange how he can hear with perfect clarity words like money, mall, shopping, Howie's, video games or a $20 bill falling in a forest with no one around...

Now I can admit that I listen to my kids occasionally and when William told me about a website that can play music completely in the genre that you specify, I decided to check it out.

It's so cool! I have Nickleback radio, Aerosmith radio and Rush radio. Groups that are similar on my Nickleback radio---Staind, Puddle of Mudd, Creed, Evanescence, Papa Roach---or Rush radio----Boston, Yes, Led Zeppelin, Van Halen---play continuously with no commercials or talk radio! The website also lists the history of the band if you want to check it out.

I can remember a time when I knew the album, the artist, the year the song came out but now, since I know what music I like but I suffer from CRS (can't remember stuff--I cleaned it up for you), I need to rely on things like this. I'm a serious head-banger at heart (right now I am listening to Pain from Three Days Grace followed by Better Than Me from Hinder) but with an eclectic taste in music.
Check out my playlist on this blog! Multiple personalities could be a logical explanation.

http://pandora.com

Sunday, August 24, 2008

"I get by with a little help from my friends"

One of my favorite "5-minute" friends, the Great and Fabulous Karen Baker, sent me this e-mail and I love it! Who needs mushy, girly friendship e-mails? Heck no! Give it to me straight up and promise me that you will always be my alibi...

The definition of true friendship with none of that sissy, mushy, cutesy, girly stuff
Are you tired of those sissy 'friendship' poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship. You will see no cutesy little smiley faces on this card - Just the stone cold truth of great friendship.

1. When you are sad -- I will help you plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.
2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When you smile -- I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in.
4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get.
5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.
6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.
7. When you are sick -- Stay away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.
8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.

This is my oath .... I pledge it to the end 'Why?' you may ask; 'because you are my friend'.

Remember:
A friend will help you move.
A really good friend will help you move a body. Let me know if I ever need to bring a shovel and a truck...

Who is your "5-minute" friend? That friend is the one person who would drop everything to move Heaven and Earth to be at your side in 5 minutes. I hope you have one.

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Welcome to Roswell Earthlings

We have had the usual controlled chaos here. On August 5th, we left Matthew home in charge of Samuel and the dogs (remember what happened LAST time we left the dogs with someone?) and drove William to New Mexico Military Institute, or NMMI as the cool people call it. It was supposed to take about 13 hours to drive there but with typical Keliipuleole luck, we had a tire blow out on the freeway and had to stay overnight in a sleazy Motel 6 adding 9 hours onto our travel time and spending over $600 buying four new tires, plus the motel stay. And, I think the front desk clerk at Motel 6 thought I was a hooker. Obviously, not a very profitable one since I really don't think there is much of a market for bitter-over-40-fat-and-saggy-football-mom hookers!
BUT, that's another story for another time...Okay, this is not really us.


Why, do you ask, did we buy 4 new tires when only one blew out?

Good question. 14 months ago I bought 4 new tires from Moreno Valley Goodyear, at the cost of $579, and have had two blow outs and one continually-flat-defective tire in the last two months. Using my college math I came up with 3 out of 4 tires gone "bad". Freaky. I went back to Goodyear after the first blow out (it's always on the freeway, going 70, in the fast lane, with kids in the car) and Goodyear charged me $87 to buy a new tire. WHAT? Why did I buy the road hazard protection plan? How did that save me any money? It must be all that estrogen clouding my tiny girl brain because THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE!

Alan's theory is that since my Astro takes an odd-size tire, the tires Goodyear sold me were probably old. I heard that one of those expose-evening-news show actually did a piece on old tires that blow out because they have begun to disintegrate. Our tires didn't just pop and slowly go flat, they EXPLODED and shredded. They didn't blow out because they had a nail or shrapnel or even flotsam and jetsam embedded in it, the tire exploded through the sidewall. Scary. The shredded tire looked like a scarf for the Michelin tire mascot! And really, maybe one blow-out we could blame on fate, but TWO?

My tire that continually went flat? The Goodyear employee said, as he couldn't look me in the eyes, that it was a defective valve stem. Very rare, he added. Right. If you believe that, I have some great swamp-land in Florida for sale if you are interested...Oh, and the tire should be replaced at a nominal cost of $87...

SO-we bought new tires from Cathedral City Firestone who put on all four in 40 minutes! Wow! Now, there could be the remote possibility they might have been moving at the speed of light since I was really honest and open about being ready to break down and cry right there at the front desk. Men don't do well with an almost-hysterical woman who is supposed to be in New Mexico at a parents orientation for her baby's first college experience who all ready bought 4 new tires a year ago and had two separate blow outs on the freeway endangering her children not to mention her husband who had to change said tires as the semi's roared past...sorry. Got carried away there.

By the way, the auto mechanics are completely right. Don't ever hit the brakes when your tire explodes on the freeway going 70mph in the fast lane at midnight trying to get 3 lanes over to the other side safely through the speeding semi's with your husband yelling at you on how to drive...oops, I did it again.

Needless to say, our guardian angel is working overtime and she is exhausted!

The rest of the trip was uneventful. We made PB and J sandwiches in the car, ate way to much junk food, drank too much soda and listened to William's CD over and over (Viva La Vida by Coldplay) as the miles rolled by. Alan would be happy to never ever listen to that CD again but I love it!

The week before, William and his friends played Viva La Vida when I drove them down to Escondido to play paintball. That CD will always remind me of William and his friends singing at the top of their voices to the title song, Viva La Vida. We adults forget that life is an adventure and I think that sometimes we need to be reminded by the youth that it's good just to be alive.


Front gate of NMMI


NMMI is in Roswell, New Mexico, home of UFO's and aliens. Many people don't believe in extra-terrestrials but, as you can tell from the picture below, they are here and they are among us! Can you tell which aliens are from our planet and which ones are just visiting?


We went to a McDonalds which had a space ship theme and to the local Super Wal-Mart for our $5 tourist alien t-shirts. I got the same look from the Roswell locals as I was snapping pictures at Wal-Mart that we Californians give to the tourists here when they see palm trees and Disneyland! Of course, I played it off and pretended I couldn't speak English...



Beautiful Lea and gorgeous Alana at the McDonalds in Blythe


Our trip back was quiet--safely driving on four new tires--with only Alan, Alana and I to talk to each other. (Coldplay was there too, over and over and over...) We drove straight through to California, leaving New Mexico around 7pm and arriving in Blythe about 8:30am. Lee, Maribel and our beautiful, smart and perfect granddaughter Lea, live in Blythe so we called and met for breakfast at McDonalds. Fabulous air conditioning! (It's been years since I've eaten at a McDonalds and then I go and eat there twice in one week...Go figure. I LOVE those fish fillet sandwiches. .)

William can have contact with the outside world in 21 days. I know I will be his first phone call because he loves me the most and misses me more than anyone...and wants his cell phone mailed back to him.

"One minute I held the key
Next the walls were closed on me
And I discovered my castles stand
Upon pillars of salt and pillars of sand"
Viva la Vida Coldplay

Coldplay video of Viva la Vida
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P5TNK-TvIcI