"I get by with a little help from my friends"

One of my favorite "5-minute" friends, the Great and Fabulous Karen Baker, sent me this e-mail and I love it! Who needs mushy, girly friendship e-mails? Heck no! Give it to me straight up and promise me that you will always be my alibi...

The definition of true friendship with none of that sissy, mushy, cutesy, girly stuff
Are you tired of those sissy 'friendship' poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship. You will see no cutesy little smiley faces on this card - Just the stone cold truth of great friendship.

1. When you are sad -- I will help you plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.
2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When you smile -- I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in.
4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get.
5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.
6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.
7. When you are sick -- Stay away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.
8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.

This is my oath .... I pledge it to the end 'Why?' you may ask; 'because you are my friend'.

Remember:
A friend will help you move.
A really good friend will help you move a body. Let me know if I ever need to bring a shovel and a truck...

Who is your "5-minute" friend? That friend is the one person who would drop everything to move Heaven and Earth to be at your side in 5 minutes. I hope you have one.